Imaginary Football Trash Talk
This week in the inner office Fantasy Football League (Appropriately called the Nashville Football League) here at 96.3 JACK-fm, I have the distinct honor of facing and defeating JACK-fm’s own self-proclaimed illusory football guru, Mean Johnny Greene. I didn’t think it would happen this quickly. Still, he will lose. So, I kinda thought a good idea would be to work on my trash talking. I looked up trash talking on the web and this is what I found. The beginners guide to fantasy football trash talk on squido.com.
Self Promoting Trash Talk
They say you should talk yourself up to your opponent. So here goes.
1. Hey, I’m really good at Fantasy Football!
2. Guess what? I’m one of the best Fantasier’s around,…man!
3. My team is fantastic, and everything!
4. Who’s a winner with two thumbs, (pointing to self) This Guy!
Rude Crude and Obscene Trash Talk
This one is all about name calling and foul language.
1. You’re bad. And your team resembles something Obscene & Crude!
2. I’m going to use you & your team as a tissue or maybe toilet paper!
3. You & your team of hookers smell like a can of sauerkraut! Gross!
4. You Suck!
Challenge Your Opponent’s Manhood Trash Talk
Any kinda smack talk that tells your target they can’t hang with fantasy big dogs.
1. You are not a man, dude!
2. You throw, and play fantasy football - like a girl.
3. Sir, you’re ugly and you’re mama dresses you funny.
4. I pity the fool who thinks they can bean my fantasy football team.
(Thank you Mr. T.)
There’s a lot more if you want to see for yourself. Since it’s Friday and I have some work around the station to finish up, I better go. Meantime, I’ll practice trash talking till I have perfected it.
Have a nice weekend! (Except for you Mean Johnny Greene, you can Sit On It Potsie!)